Ma has had some very hectic days over the last couple of weeks. Her 88th birthday fell last Sunday. She was like a big kid, wanting to dress in something nice and then sitting in her chair waiting for her visitors. She had a fantastic day and had crashed and burned by 3pm. Her whole consciousness then focused on Friday, her big event. Her doctor of many years, a wonderful man, had asked her to open his medical centre. We had worked on her speech but she was worried about doing things right.
Come Monday, she was off with the fairies once more. Her bedroom was no longer a safe haven but somewhere to be feared. There were people in her bed and instead of sitting there and reading and listening to the radio, she had to leave her room and go and sit in the kitchen. Even her lift chair was either ‘blocked’ or had somebody in it. As the week progressed, you could see her tiredness and stress increasing and her mental state deteriorating.
My frustration increased as the days went by, the wonderful respite ladies did what they could but Ma was beyond reach. Finally I decided to try a stick. I discussed it with Ma and we decided to try it. From the beginning of her hallucinations I’ve admitted to her that I haven’t been able to see what she sees, but have worried that maybe there was something there that I just couldn’t see. I believe in God and prayer but always keep an open mind. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy (Hamlet (1.5.167-8)).”
Thursday eve found me lighting Dragon’s Blood incense (compliments of an old school friend) at the front and back of the house. Then smudge stick in hand, I made my way clockwise around the outside of the house and then inside through every room waving said smudge stick.
I must say that Ma and I loved the smell of the sage as it wafted around. I found some old Tibeatan Healing incense I’d brought back from Nepal many years ago and lit that also.
Ma and I both ‘passed out’ that night and slept really well. Ma was still a bit ‘spacey’ on Friday but seemed more rested. Again, she was like a kid waiting for Christmas, wanting to get dressed at 2:30pm for the opening at 5:30pm. I almost went NUTS!
She did extraordinarily well and we brought her home around 7pm. I burnt more sage (smudge stick) and she slipped off to sleep easily. Saturday was an episode of frustration with her afraid of her room still. At least we got her into her electric recliner instead of her sitting at the kitchen table. I’m of the opinion that she was over-tired.
Saturday night she was so tense, I offered to sleep with her and again used the sage. She slipped off to sleep and every time I took her to the toilet she didn’t want me to stay with her. The next morning she stayed in her room for most of the morning. WT????
Sunday night I burnt sage and incense again. She went out like a light and was very relaxed in the morning. Research through my friend Google suggests that Sage can be used for the treatment of asthma and dementia as well as being used as a relaxant. There is no scientific evidence to support this. I’m just glad that Ma is able to go to sleep without fear – I don’t need scientific evidence.
My sister also sent me information on the use of Coconut Oil to treat dementia. Again, no scientific evidence but there are a number of people who have tried it on their loved ones suffering from dementia with good results. I bought some today and we will give it a go.
I’m of the opinion that, as long as there are no interactions with her medications and I tell her about the remedy and give her a choice, we should give it a go. I know in her lucid moments she worries about her mental state. I can’t even imagine what it would be like for her. I must not lose sight of that.
aged carer experience 