Some days I just want to curl up in a corner and pretend I don’t exist. Other days I reach for a glass of wine and spend 10 minutes in the ‘naughty corner’ while I try to regain some perspective and recover my composure. Why do I argue with Ma over who is lurking in her bedroom or which bedroom she should sleep in (there is only hers and mine) or who owns her house? I know I’ll never win the argument; I know that it’s pointless to argue; and I know I’ll just end up frustrating and upsetting us both! But still, I argue! Why? It doesn’t achieve anything but prove the fact that I must be some type of control freak. Hence my time out in the ‘naughty corner’ as I call it. A bit of sanity in my insane world.
I have an addiction or rather it’s another coping mechanism. I love Op Shops! They are cheaper than a therapist and I sometimes discover a new treasure to boot. Just an hour wandering around searching through racks of clothes in search of something special gives my mind time out. It doesn’t matter if I don’t buy something, it’s all about the search. Like a treasure hunt. Not only for myself but also for Ma and whoever else I may think of. They other day I bought a dress I knew would suit the respite worker. What can I say, it was a half price sale! I ended up with a dress for Ma and myself also. And I’m also helping out a charity! Win, win!
Not so long ago, I started a ‘Bucket List’. It was a way of giving myself some goals and direction. Some items are silly, like do an obstacle course (that’s this weekend, God willing). Other items are to do with places I want to visit or things I want to learn like crochet. I bought the hook and some wool some time ago, they are still waiting.
Next on my list of coping mechanisms is gardening. I love gardening and getting dirty. I’m not the best gardener in the world not like my Dad was. It’s just an escape for me. Pulling weeds out and trimming hedges is great therapy. It’s even better if I manage to make something grow. Last year I made Tomato Relish from the extra tomatoes I grew.
Where would I be without exercise? When Ma gets up for the toilet in the morning around 4 or later, I usually get her settled down once more and head to the gym for an hour. I couldn’t cope with much at all if it wasn’t for exercise. If I can get to Yoga or Pilates as well that’s Gold. Unfortunately, that hasn’t been possible lately. As I was the original couch potato growing up I find this most amusing of all. I have a medic alert pendant around Ma’s neck in case she gets into difficulties and the gym is only a few blocks away.
Last but least, is music. Rock and roll, classical, hymns, alternative… it depends on my mood. Foo Fighters are a definite when I’m angry or upset and feel like thumping something. Loud please!
aged carer experience 