Ma spent the night sleeping in the electric recliner. I heard her trying to coax a cat to come sit with her but they weren’t giving up her bed! I got up twice with her to the toilet both times she wouldn’t talk to me. Obviously I’d done something wrong again, but this time I didn’t know what. I’d let her sleep in her chair without too much fuss thinking she may get cold and seek her own bed. I forgot that I got my stubborn gene from her!
This morning she spent an hour just sitting in the chair and staring into space. She asked me if I’d help her pack up her clothes and I just asked her if she wanted breakfast. She ate a good one, and is now in her bedroom busily going through her drawers and pulling things out… looks like ‘we’re’ packing again. I’m not saying much, just leaving her to it. Her radio is on and I’m hoping it will distract her. She hasn’t taken her medications and her short term memory and confusion is very much at the fore.
I’ve managed to avoid discussing her packing and have now got her a cappuccino, Ma’s favourite. As I hand her her coffee she tells me she is worried that Nala the cat has been chased by a dog that’s in the house…. After assuring her there’s no dog, I walk away and leave her to her coffee and packing with the ever loyal Nala.
The in-house respite lady is half an hour late and when she gets there I can’t wait to get out the door for an hour of freedom. I cruise the Op Shops and catch my breath. When my hour is up I open the door to be met with a foul odour. She has soiled herself and tells me she’s cleaned herself and has fresh pants on… time will tell whether that’s right or not, she won’t let me shower her or check.
She asks me for her purse which I don’t have and then calls me a thief and that I have her purse and that this is not the first time I’ve taken her money from her. I also apparently have her shoes in my room somewhere. While she was on the toilet apparently somebody shut the door on her room where all her things were. Yeah for respite and my hour of freedom…
She is now putting on her shoes and I’m waiting for her next move… I’m going to have to stop her trying to get out the door which is going to be interesting.
Sigh, ok so it’s been a not so great afternoon… Ma got both doors open and took Cyril (her wheely walker) out onto the verandah and then tried to take him down the stairs. All with me beside her telling her she couldn’t… consequently Cyril ends up at the bottom of the stairs with all her packed up important stuff strewn around. She then tries to pick it up and decides to sit down on the stairs….
So, when Ma ends up on the floor there is no way she is going to get up by herself or by me. She is a dead weight with two frozen shoulders. I ring for an ambulance (I really hate taking them away from important stuff just to pick Ma up). I always feel guilty getting them out to pick her up but what other choice do I have? Two beautiful paramedics arrive and get her up with me helping. They check her vitals which are normal (of course) and give me a lecture on where to draw a line… I give my usual explanation of no care ‘cause there’s no vacancies which is why I’m virtually a full-time carer.
When they left I showered Ma and got her into her bedroom with some cajoling and promising I’d sleep with her tonight. I’ve also given her a brandy. She is acting more ‘sane’ although time will tell…. Stay tuned….
aged carer experience 