When did we as a society stop caring about our aged? Why do people work in aged care when they really don’t care about the wants and needs of the people they are caring for?
Since placing Ma in care back on the 4th of July, I have been fighting to get Ma’s medical and hygienic needs met. What I think of as basic human needs. Somebody to care about whether her incontinence pad is changed or her teeth are clean; that she takes her medications and that her wounds are dressed appropriately; that she is clean and comfortable. Sounds like something we would all like? Basic care you think? Unfortunately not.
I get so tired of fighting about whether Ma’s daily needs are met that sometimes I let things slide. Every day I walk into the nursing home not knowing what I will find. Some days I feel like not going, as just walking through the door fills me with trepidation. Will she be crying, in pain, staring into space or just the mother I remember? My love for my mother and the situation I have placed her in weighs heavily on my conscience. I go every day because I can’t trust the nursing home. I’ve learnt from experience that I need to be there every day.
A conference with the nursing unit manager and the manager of the facility give me reassurance for 5 minutes until I visit with Ma and watch Ma’s leg being dressed by a nurse who clearly doesn’t know what they are doing. We talk her through the dressing change and the words of the nursing unit manager ring in my head. “I will walk all staff through the dressing of your mother’s leg to make sure they’re competent. I will sign them off.”
Unfortunately the nurse who regularly does her dressings is on holidays. Two more emails later and I’m still fighting for her dressing to be done correctly. I’ve even offered to do it myself. It’s not rocket science, even I can do it! I dressed Ma’s leg for many years before she went into care. The nursing unit manager is very good at telling me what I want to hear, but nothing changes and there’s no follow through.
Ma is a high falls risk and has a chair and bed alarm. I would say that 8 times out of 10, this isn’t switched on. One day I came in to find not only her chair alarm wasn’t plugged in but her hand buzzer wasn’t either. Again and again, I report this.
Over half a dozen times now, I have walked in to find some of Ma’s medications on the floor because staff haven’t made sure she has swallowed them. Three times this was Ma’s Targin, a slow release pain killer. Ma hates taking her medications. She can’t swallow very well any more and staff’s attitude sometimes makes her disinclined to obey their commands. Staff have even given me her medications to give to her. I’ve had staff complain about how difficult and time consuming Ma is. Ma thinks she is being poisoned as she doesn’t know what she is being given. I tell her what the medication is and what it’s for and use her favourite yoghurt to get her to take them. More rocket science?
One of the things that makes me angry is finding that she still has a stinky disgusting incontinence pad on from the night before, but is dressed and ready for the day. Thank goodness this has only happened twice. But in my view, that’s two times too many.
How do you feel when your teeth haven’t been cleaned? I’ve been told by the nursing unit manager that residents’ teeth are cleaned twice a day and soaked once a week. Today, as on other occasions, she asked me to clean her teeth. They were disgusting. I soaked them first before scrubbing them. Ma told me that may be she could now taste something. I took photos and sent it through to the manager and nursing unit manager. This makes me want to cry.
Ma now has pressure sores on her bottom because she sits in her chair nearly 24 hours a day. She has only slept in the bed on a couple of occasions. When she sleeps in the bed she has a panic attack when staff don’t answer her calls and goes back to her chair. I contacted her doctor to check her bottom and he ordered it to be dressed daily. I am shown the dressing chart by the nursing unit manager but again, nursing staff don’t follow through. Today her chair pressure pad wasn’t on her chair but leaning against the wall. Ma was complaining of pain and felt instant release once I’d placed the pressure pad on her chair.
Why is this happening? Why am I constantly fighting for Ma’s basic needs to be met.? I feel sick every time I think of what she’s going through. She cries and tells me she wants to leave. I feel like I’ve let her down.
What do people do without an advocate? If Ma’s chair alarm isn’t put on; her wounds dressed correctly; her teeth cleaned etc what happens to the others? How sad that we have forgotten to care for our aged. How I regret placing her in care. I feel like I’ve let her down on so many levels and yet I’m so angry that her basic needs aren’t met by the people that are supposed to care for her.
aged carer experience 